Mr.James

Dear Mr. James

When we split up, i would have given life and limb to have things return to how they were. All in good time i got over the low blow you bestowed upon me. i forgave, but did not forget. I didn't forget the good, but i didn't forget the bad either. I held on to a spark of hope that i hadn't made yet another failure, a spark of hope for that happy ending we all seek. After we got back on speaking terms, i began to find myself conflicted. Did i want you back in my life? after all the wreckage you had already caused. I found myself overly tempted, until i saw you again, really saw you. Face to face, i see through you. Suddenly all that pain and past came flooding into view, and i couldn't get away fast enough. There i was believing we had both changed and grown as people, but in fact i was the only one whom changed. Everyone else seemed to remain the same. In that very moment i got the closure i had so sought. We didn't make it because we weren't meant to. It wasn't my destiny to be your wife, as it wasn't your destiny to be my husband. The lust confused with love, the stability clouded by fear of loss, it all led to a dysfunctional marriage. Although its nice to dream that the grass is greener, its not. The land we sew, died faster than our marriage did.

lots of Love, Jessi James

May your tomorrows be brighter than your yesterdays.

Philosophy Of A Borderline by Jessi James is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at jamesborderline.blogspot.com

Soul Mate's

We live in a society that tells us there is only one perfect match for us in the entire existence of man kind. One "soul mate" and that fate will bring them to us. Does this sound like a fairy tale to anyone else? There is no prince charming, there is no guarantee that you will fall in love, and be loved in return. Embedding us with the idea, that there is only one mate for us; puts added pressure in an already unstable world. "Will i find my soul mate?" or "did i miss my soul mate?" even "the love of my life died unexpectedly, will there be another soul mate for me in my life time?" Those are pretty big questions, a lot of strings attached, mainly to one's heart strings.
Theoretically its improbable that there's is only one perfect match in the world. Even as your reading this, there is someone out there thinking the same thought you are at this very moment. Are they your soul mate? They may live a world away, and you may never meet them. It doesn't mean you've missed your soul mate. That's why there is a billion dollar industry surrounding dating sights. People fear with out them, they will never find that soul mate. Psychic's also are big in the "match making" game. Not so much as bringing two people together, but rather reassuring you that your life holds meaning and you will find someone.
Statistically there are many suitable counter parts out there for each person. The hardest part is finding them. The oddest part about affairs of the heart and human nature is: The hunt is often sweeter than the kill. We fight tooth and nail to find that perfect person to settle down and procreate with, yet often enough once we have them and are stable we miss the hunt. We no longer deem our prince/princess charming worthy. Finding passion for something that's perpetually out of reach.
So although women are made to believe they are no whole with out a partner and a child, its simple ludicrous. There are many tasks and lessons to be learned - before one can stand as a pair. If one doth not know thy self, how an thy self be true? Life is hard, no matter what you have or don't have. Its supposed to be, if it was always smooth sailing there would be no sense of fulfillment. Nothing would be anything, and the world would seem topsi turvey, value would be lost. Treasure every aching moment of existence, because that's the true value, and its fleeting fast....
-Jessi J


Philosophy Of A Borderline by Jessi James is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at jamesborderline.blogspot.com