i wish i could lay down beside you, when the day is done.

Unfairness is everywhere - people judge on the shallowest of characteristics. The consequences of our words are painful internal scars. My insides are full of them, i numbed myself for so long, i guess i didn't realize how many deep internal lacerations i had accumulated.
Most of my scars i created, from self abuse, allowing the wrong people near me, and karma. a perfect analogy for me - "seeing a spider web, and walking directly into it." Of all the wrong I've tried to correct, i deserve some back. My battle wounds couldn't stop me from devouring my helping of karma's cold revenge. I cant run around doing what I've done and then wonder why my life is shit. I know all too well why it is.
I remember every deed, every sin, and every mistake I've ever encored in my life. The bodily pain i endure on a daily basis makes it hard to forget. So do i use drugs and alcohol to escape? Wouldn't you?? I punish myself for all the wrong I've committed, i do not need you or anyone Else's judgement, help, input, advice, or criticism. You words don't affect me anyway, there is nothing you can say i haven't said to myself. I do it so harshly that your words are like rose pedals falling from heaven. Instead of getting upset , i welcome your insults with a smile; Knowing your mind is too small to ever wrap around me. -Jessi J




Philosophy Of A Borderline by Jessi James is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at jamesborderline.blogspot.com

The repent of six our father's -

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

I don't operate on the highest levels any longer. I know my actions aren't always wise or right - but sometimes that's all i can muster up to give. I live too fast, like any moment could be my last.

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

Like a moth to a flame, I'm drawn to this pain. I'm just not strong enough to live any other way anymore. Life has taken its toll on me, i no longer can see clearly.

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

I look into the eyes around me, all i see is their pity, and shame. Its a shame to burn out so young, when for most life has only just begun.

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

i feel the burn in the back of my throat, that's when i know your close. The devils got me in his sights. His breath is intoxicating.

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

I'm sorry i cant hold myself on higher regard. I'm sorry i don't carry a higher standard. I'm sorry i don't do as they would in heaven.

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.

WOULD YOU LOOK WHAT THIS HELL'S DONE TO ME!

-Jessi James



Philosophy Of A Borderline by Jessi James is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at jamesborderline.blogspot.com