Note to self:

Dear Self,

    Day in and day out I've tried expressing myself. I stand before all of you naked, nothing to hide. i still feel like i havent found the right wording, the right expression. Like i have to force everyone to read my pieces, and even still the blank un-understanding stare glazes your eyes.

    I went from writing educated pieces, to narcissistic rants about my own pitiful existence. Maybe its not you whom needs to understand me, but maybe i need to understand myself. That seems like the logical summer. Maybe no one can understand me, or my work, because I'm a fog. A fog of mystery, even to myself.
     Until i am in a stable environment, and am on a path, i will be separating many different directions. so therefore i am undefinable, lost in the cracks if you will. Its a dangerous torture I've been wallowing in. I've been struggling to stay where i am, and not moving forward. I'm like a nomad in my own mind, torturing myself. It's a scary place, and this has to end.

-Jessi James

P.S. Don't live by W.W.T.D standards - you've seen where that road leads. You know what i mean. Stop worrying about people who don't worry back, stop intoxicating yourself to pass the time. Let go of the painful people, and there wont be anything to numb. You chose to be where you are, so let go of the pity party, its getting old. Your getting older, and you need to snap out of this infantile stage. Things aren't just going to happen for you, while you drink away your life. But if you want a W.W.T.D. kind of existence, your already there. Hows it feel?? are you happy? fulfilled?? Now get your shit together, and get on the path your supposed to be on. Or stay here, and kiss it all goodbye.




Philosophy Of A Borderline by Jessi James is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at jamesborderline.blogspot.com