Mucky Muck

Dear Tommy,

  I don't blame you for the pain i'm in now. I was in pain before you, it's only logical i be in pain after you. It stems deeper than you know. You just took me up so high, when your embrace faded/vanished, i fell with such force i lodged myself in snuggly - into the muck of depression. I've climbed my way to about where i was before. It's hard most days to even get out of bed, not because your not here, but because my own demons have grown so strong. The muck seems to super charge them, making it that much more of a struggle to even open my eyes. It's my own demons keeping me down, they're like an anchor around my neck; and my motors on the fritz - deeper i go.

       I miss you, you always understood all this like no one else did. I'm so alone its hard to go on. I think i only do it out of laziness, and fear. You were always the one with the courage. I am but a meek scared little creature, deep inside the devil's cavern; Carving myself a cave to dwell in for eternity. I dont know where my back bone went, i must have lost it along my travels.
     
       I pray sometimes, for you, for me, for family, for peace. But other than all that, i'm doing fine.. rest peacefully il mio amore.

Yours Truly,
Jessi James




Philosophy Of A Borderline by Jessi James is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at jamesborderline.blogspot.com