As humans we go through different phases of love, we seek parental love, friend love, romantic love, then our love sight shifts to our children. Raising our children, and suddenly romance isn’t as important.
Children may be resilient, but there is no substitute for a fathers love. A father who deny's thy child the most basic interaction and parental guidance; will rue the day. They will rue the day when that child takes out their wrath, they will also rue the day when they realize that the most magical gift in life has been removed. There is no starting over in life, and you cannot put off till tomorrow things that were due yesterday. By the time you realize what you have missed it will be too late to render. A father who would prefer to waste time on unsustainable miniscule past times such as drugs, alcohol, womanizing, video games, sports; instead of slowing down to enjoy the short childhood of their child, in turn neglects themselves of they own achievement.
The child will unconsciously cry out, if left untended they will develop psychological disorders; and it’s a safe bet for you to make, that they will seek revenge, consciously or unconsciously. If a child extends their hand to guide, walks step by step by your side, why would anyone deny that? You're stealing the most important thing - their innocence. Innocence only lasts as long as the child is sheltered/ unexposed to the harsh, cold, cruel reality of life/adulthood.
Adults have an entire lifetime to be hurt, scared, lost, jaded, or broken down. We don’t need to experience that any sooner than we need to. Feed a child’s fantasy, nurture their imagination, protect their senses from toxins, and guard their inexperienced purity, as you would have guarded your own. It's the biggest treasure we're given in life, without purity and innocence i am not sure we as conscious humans, would have the momentum to live a long life.
Purity is given upon conception, it’s fleeting and fragile. Allowing magic to seem visible, every day is a winding road; adventures hold no bounds, hardships unknown, and dangers untold. The stronger our purity remains, the better chance we have of leading a happy, productive life. This isn’t to say those whom keep intact will always have a better life, just as it’s not to say those whom do not will be incapable. Just a higher success rate is with those whom kept their innocence and purity strong within themselves.
Children need parental bonds; it’s an important part of development. That does not mean that a single parent cannot raise a strong, resilient child, because they can. Resilience is being able to take a blow, and keep going because you have been distilled with capacity to cope. Feeling confident and sure in your actions, as well as competent in life, in endeavors, And in happiness. A two parent home will not be what saves your child, just as a one parent home will not be what damns your child. Children are subject to significant adversity, or trauma, excessive pressures or stresses; they have to be taught how to deal with the blows as they come, and keep on moving.
How can you help your child find these skills, and be resilient? First off do not constantly put pressure on yourself, and second guess your initial feeling. You must be a strong influence, even more so for a single parent. Anyone involved in a child’s life, must be an influence you must want distilled in your child. They absorb everything, they hear everything, and they understand far more than one might think. Second, bad things happen, so do not think you have failed because of one bad mistake. The skills come in handy here, because everyone gets behind, or falls down, it’s important for a child to see that you can stand back up, not to deny you fell. Don't ice over the bad, because the bad is real, you don’t want the child to fear any mistake coming. Just allow them to see that it’s not the end of the world, and that tomorrow is a brand-new day.
Robert Brooks, Ph.D., and Sam Goldstein, Ph.D. have compiled a few things to help you along your journey as a parent. Remember parenting isn’t as simple as it seems here in black in white; don’t get over whelmed by it. Click Here for Further steps outside my blog.
Philosophy Of A Borderline by
Jessi James is licensed under a
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Based on a work at
jamesborderline.blogspot.com
